J Cole Made Me Cry.

So Monday was emotional as F for me. It didn’t even start until the afternoon, so I’m like WTF? The first time I’m saving for, you guessed it, the book. The second time I cried was at Jermaine’s (You probably know him as J Cole. I call him Jermaine. Lol) concert. This is the 4th time I’ve seen him (3rd time in 2.5 years) and he never disappoints.

I got into him when I saw him at the Arie Crown Theater when he was on tour with Wale back in 2013. It was actually his tour, but I went to see Wale, and left loving Jermaine. I’m not sure what it was, but he’s nothing like I thought he would be in concert. I guess I expected with his mellow music that he would be sitting on a stool rapping to the audience, and this wasn’t the case at all.

The last few years, when he’s been in the same city I am, I see him. Even when he’s not (like when I went back to Chicago a couple months after moving here to go to Lollapalooza JUST for him on the day he performed). Like, literally paid for a day ticket and came before he went on stage that night. I love this dude y’all. I relate to his music so much. Even the songs I can’t relate to, I can try to understand them.

When I got approval from my job late 2015 to move to New York, I listened to the Villuminati album over, and over, and over. Well, you get it. I specifically kept “New York Times” on repeat, that featured 50 Cent and Bas (who is signed to Dreamville and who I’ve seen 3 times by mistake). Bas is dope.

So what is it that could’ve made me cry at a concert?

I love seeing people finally make it when they’ve been through a process. Nothing confirms for me that I need to just keep going than seeing that. He dropped a lot of gems, one specifically talking about how nothing that happens overnight is worth having. We all know this, and hear it all the time. With the day I had though? That was a perfect time to hear it again. He performed my absolute favorite song and said it’s probably his most favorite that he’s written, “Love Yours”.

It talks about loving what you have because if you go looking, you’ll always find something that you THINK is better. The hook says, “No such thing as a life that’s better than yours”. That’s true. We all have things we’re going through and that’s for us to deal with, not compare to others. I’m a sucker for some lyrics that mean something. Your boy had me tearing up on that though. I always do.

It wasn’t just the song, but I thought of how much his music helped me. I listened to New York Times, everyday, for 5 full months every time I was on my way to one of my three jobs. During that time, I went from being excited to start my journey of moving to NY, to being scared I wouldn’t find a place and have to stay in CHI longer, to just flat out giving up because it was too hard. I went to New York twice to look for a place and when I came back the first time, I started sabotaging myself so that I would have an excuse of why I didn’t move. I was working 3 Jobs and STILL didn’t have enough money, but I made it.

Even when I moved to NY, for months, I listened to that album to remind me of the times I rode the train to work in Chicago, thinking that MAYBE I would make it to New York.

The show was amazing, as I expected. Then, in true New York fashion, as everyone was walking out of Madison Square Garden, you heard “YERRRR!” echo through the building from people leaving the show.

I guess they liked the show too.

Love Yours.

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