So, you know that saying that you have to get through a few boneheads before you find a nice/good one (I changed it a little, but you know what I mean)? Well, Jody** proved that to be true. Let’s just call him Jody.
So a few weeks ago, I’m on the train minding my business and at the end of the train there’s a fight that’s starting. Agh. This is about 5:00pm on a weekday in NYC, the norm. It’s hot, people are ready get home and everyone is restless. Jody looks down and asks me if I know why the two people are arguing, I say no and go back to zoning out to my Lauryn Hill. He waves his hand to get my attention again and asks me more questions. I guess the universal “I have earplugs in so don’t bother me right now” isn’t so universal. We chat and he seems like a cool person. I give him my number and he calls the next day.
Note: My first thought was not to give it to him, but my friends say I’m mean and blah blah blah when it comes to guys/dating. So, I thought,why not?
We decide to go out for drinks and conversation, which is fine. Everything is good until we get there. He’s about 20 minutes late, which I didn’t notice until I looked later because I was in a group text running my mouth 😩. Things happen. As soon as we sit, he has to take a call, ok, again – things happen. He comes back and I tell him the waiter is coming back to take our order. The waiter comes back and he asks if we’re ready to order. Jody looks at him and says “Are you our waiter?” 😐 Nah, this guy is just dressed like every other employee and he’s asking for your order. So, the waiter says “Nah, I’m just standing here.” with a smirk. LOL!
The conversation starts well, and then my bad luck kicks in. He asks questions that just should NOT be asked on the first date – yes, you guessed it – they were pretty intimate. At this point I’m appalled. I think okay, maybe I should leave. Then I think, Naaah, I’m here already and this will be THE most interesting, yet hellish date I’ve ever been on. Throughout this time, he tries to impress me by making sure I see the bill – how tacky, telling me how big his mom’s house is – um…, and continuously pulling money out of his pockets – someone please save me!
This guy knows I’m new to the city, so he must also think I’m a fool. Let’s cut to the chase – he thought he was going to get me drunk and I was going to fall for the okey doke. Tsk tsk Jody. So, not too long after forced conversation, he ends up getting himself drunk. 🙃🙃🙃
After he pays, I’m ready to go. I get an UBER and earlier in the day he did say he would pay half of my cab, I wasn’t going to take it. He tries to give me the money while we’re outside and I still don’t take it. What I should’ve said is “If you promise to lose my number, I will take it.” Anyway, as we’re waiting for the UBER and he’s out there with me, he leans in for a hug and puts money in the shoulder portion of my shirt to make me take it. Then, he runs. Yes…runs, and never comes back.
Seriously, I started looking around for cameras. I’m still convinced that Ashton is bringing back PUNK’D. Even in the restaurant, I thought I was going to see one of those little devils from the old BET show “Hell Date”. It’s not even half of what happened, but it’s a pretty good summary. This cannot be real..
My friend asked me if this was the worst date ever. Well, it was the worst date that I have been on, yes, but it absolutely could’ve been worse. He could’ve acted a fool and then decided he wanted to go dutch, or better yet – try to stick me with the bill. Agh..dating in NYC has to be better than this.
I don’t even have a quote for this…lets just cut straight to the “Sex & The City” theme song.